Comment from Glenda
Time: August 11, 2008, 2:49 pm

Hello,
Is there hope?
What happens when a man looks in the mirror at 46 and sees that he has grown older?
When at 48 he leaves his wife for a single mexican woman of 37 years of age because she is happy and full of excitement.
That he looks in his wifes eyes one minute with love and the next as though he is someone else. That he says he is bored, the clock is ticking, time for me now. I have been responsible for others for 17 years and It is time for me now.
That he runs to the ow for how she makes him feel and he falls in love with her because she adores him.
He asks for a divorce the wife serves him papers and then he yells at her that that is the final nail in the coffin.
He says that he no longer loves the wife but ow. That he does not want to marry her or live with her forever. That he feels that leaving the wife is not a loss but a gain.
Then he says that he could not come back because it would never be the same, that he does not know how to rebuild trust, that her family have alienated him, that he did not appreciate what he had. Yet he does not fight to come back.
He yells that he needs no conditions on his life now. He wants freedom. Grows his hair into a pony tail, drives a mercedes, has 2 antique jaguars and blames the wife for all his hurt and what he did not aquire in his years married to her financially.
What is he thinking? What is real?
We are now divorced less than one year after I got the email from the ow. He is so ego inflated. He is sure he is right to leave and he defends her. He is making new memories and that he was proud of our marriage but it was a good run and he had begun to feel like he was living in quick sand.
So you say he feels depression? I wonder. Most men are great at compartementalizing and the fact that they do not look back at the good in the marriage allows them to see the negative which further justifies in their minds why they left.
Do they look back at the good from time to time?
I do not believe that this relationship will last forever and then he will grieve it; probably more than ours.
I know that some couples reunite after a few years of divorce.
I am going forward to heal myself now and think not that it will happen but somewhere in my heart hope it does and he comes to see what he lost and fights to get it back.
Sadly most men can not admit their faults and find it easier to keep running than to find the courage to come back and face what they have chosen to do.
I am hoping that he will but that is just part of me not letting go when he let go it appears a few years before I found out.
Living in Mexico with the options there and the women thinking he was king and I was here in Canada. Did not help.
He will be 49 this month and I just wonder what he sees now when he looks in the mirror. He said that marriage made his hair go grey. As far I as see it still is.
Glenda

Comment from Rich Naran
Time: August 31, 2008, 7:06 pm

The subject of men’s depression and social acceptance is a big part of the unreported depression problem that exists. The subject of male depression and divorce has been a longstanding TV sitcom joke. With podcast like yours we begin to break down the myths and gain acceptance for a prevaling barrier toward men stepping forward to seek treatment.